Faith-Based Guidance for Healing, Forgiveness, and Reconciliation.

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)

AbandonedByMyChildren.com — Let It Go and Live Again

1. Why has my adult son or daughter stopped speaking to me?

Adult children can become estranged from their parents for many reasons. Sometimes it involves misunderstandings, unresolved conflicts, divorce, family disagreements, past emotional wounds, or differences in expectations and boundaries.

In some cases, parents genuinely do not understand why their children have withdrawn. In others, the adult child may have expressed concerns that the parent has struggled to recognize or accept.

The first step toward healing is understanding what happened—not automatically blaming yourself or your child.

My book, Abandoned By My Children: Let It Go and Live Again, helps you examine your relationship honestly, identify what you can change, and begin moving forward.

2. Is it my fault that my adult child has abandoned me?

Not necessarily. Family relationships are complicated, and estrangement rarely has a simple explanation.

As parents, we should be willing to examine our own words, attitudes, decisions, and actions. We may discover mistakes that require acknowledgment, apologies, or changes in behavior.

However, examining yourself does not mean accepting responsibility for everything that happened.

You are responsible for your actions, but you cannot control another person's decisions.

Healing begins when we learn to distinguish between what belongs to us and what does not.

3. Will my son or daughter ever come back into my life?

Reconciliation is possible, even after years of separation. However, no one can guarantee that an estranged adult child will return.

Sometimes relationships improve when parents and children begin to understand one another, acknowledge past hurts, respect boundaries, and are willing to rebuild trust.

My advice is simple:

Keep the door open—but don't spend your life standing in the doorway.

Continue loving your child, remain willing to reconcile when appropriate, and remember that your life still has meaning and purpose.

4. How can I stop feeling angry, rejected, and heartbroken?

Being rejected or estranged from your own child can be one of life's most painful experiences.

You may experience anger, sadness, guilt, resentment, loneliness, or regret. These emotions are understandable, and healing doesn't require pretending they don't exist.

One technique I teach is I Feel Good, PST™ — Think Better. Feel Better. Respond Better.

This Positive Self-Talk method draws on principles from Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). It helps you recognize unhelpful thinking patterns, examine your emotional responses, and choose healthier attitudes and actions.

You may not be able to control what your child does, but you can learn to manage how you respond.

5. Should I continue calling, texting, or writing to my estranged child?

That depends on your circumstances and the boundaries your child has established.

Occasional respectful communication may be appropriate when contact is welcome. However, repeated calls, messages, gifts, or uninvited visits can sometimes make the situation worse.

If your adult child has clearly requested no contact, respect that boundary.

You can keep loving your child without constantly pursuing a relationship they aren't currently willing to have.

Love does not require chasing someone. Sometimes love means giving another person space.

6. Does forgiving my child mean accepting what they did to me?

Absolutely not.

Forgiveness does not mean that hurtful behavior was acceptable. It doesn't require you to forget what happened, abandon healthy boundaries, or immediately restore the relationship.

Forgiveness is a process of releasing the desire for revenge and working toward freedom from consuming bitterness and resentment.

Colossians 3:13 teaches us about the importance of forgiving one another.

You can forgive someone and still recognize that the relationship needs boundaries, accountability, and time to heal.

Forgiveness can begin within you, even when reconciliation is not possible.

7. What if my child refuses to let me see my grandchildren?

Being separated from grandchildren can make family estrangement even more heartbreaking.

Grandparents may feel they have lost not only their adult child but also precious relationships with grandchildren they love.

While every family situation is different, avoid putting grandchildren in the middle of adult disagreements.

Respect appropriate boundaries, avoid speaking negatively about their parents, and consider whether a respectful path toward rebuilding trust exists.

Where appropriate, professional family mediation or legal guidance may help clarify your options.

Even when you cannot be physically present, you can continue caring, praying, and hoping for healthier family relationships.

8. What will I learn from your book, Abandoned By My Children?

My book, Abandoned By My Children: Let It Go and Live Again, is designed to help parents understand and work through the emotional pain of estrangement from their adult children.

Throughout its ten chapters, you will learn how to:

• Understand possible causes of family estrangement.

• Examine your own attitudes and actions honestly.

• Overcome destructive anger, bitterness, and resentment.

• Practice forgiveness without excusing harmful behavior.

• Stop chasing someone who is not ready for a relationship.

• Leave the door open for reconciliation.

• Use I Feel Good, PST™ to develop healthier thoughts and responses.

• Rediscover peace, purpose, and joy in your own life.

The book also includes Bible Scriptures, practical exercises, and a workbook designed to encourage personal reflection and growth.

Most importantly, this book reminds you that your life isn't over just because your adult child has walked away.

9. What happens during my FREE 30-minute initial consultation?

Your first 30-minute consultation with me is FREE, with no obligation to schedule additional sessions.

Before we meet, please complete a confidential intake form so I can understand your circumstances and make the most of our time together.

During our conversation, we may discuss:

• What happened between you and your adult child.

• How long you have been estranged.

• What your child has communicated about the relationship.

• How the estrangement has affected your emotional well-being.

• Your efforts to repair the relationship.

• What you hope to accomplish moving forward.

My goal is to listen, understand your situation, and help you identify constructive next steps toward healing, forgiveness, peace, and possible reconciliation.

My approach incorporates Christian principles, personal accountability, and practical self-reflection techniques.

You deserve to be heard, and you do not have to navigate this difficult season without support.

Visit AbandonedByMyChildren.com to request your FREE consultation.

10. Can I find happiness again even if my child never returns?

Yes. Absolutely.

Your happiness, peace, and purpose do not have to depend entirely on whether your adult child chooses to reconnect with you.

You can continue loving your child while rebuilding your own life.

You can strengthen your marriage, friendships, faith, health, and relationships with others. You can pursue meaningful activities, serve your community, and discover new reasons to be thankful.

The Bible reminds us in Psalm 118:24:

"This is the day which the LORD hath made; we will rejoice and be glad in it." (KJV)

Your child may have walked away from the relationship, but that does not mean God has abandoned you or that your future is without hope.

Keep loving. Keep praying. Keep hoping. But most importantly, keep living.

That is the message behind Abandoned By My Children: Let It Go and Live Again.

George Constantine Tannous, PhD

AbandonedByMyChildren.com